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emcee bob c. cock
[Bob C. Cock] [The bouncing head of Bob C. Cock] [Bob C. Cock]
Intro by your emcee, Bob C. Cock
(QuickTime 2.5MB, 38 seconds)
Closing remarks by Bob C. Cock
(QuickTime 3.1MB, 45 seconds)
With much pleading and begging and whining and moaning I've agreed to MC the Primus netcast show for San Francisco on May 7th. Why?
DISCLAIMER: No drugs of any kind were transferred to Mister Cock as part of payment for his emcee duties. No cocaine was seen on the premises. In fact, after exhaustive research, we couldn't find anyone at the show who even knew what it was. Regardless, we don't recommend anyone partake in such substances-- just take a look at of all of the recent drug-related deaths in the music scene! Unbeknownst to Mr. Cock, we slipped him a bit of pure rock sugar-in-the-raw, cut it with some flour, and since raw sugar does pack a punch, it'll probably take him a while to come down off the sugar high. He'll never suspect it after the baking soda fiasco last time. By then, we'll be long gone, and we'll have all of the blackmail video footage we need to keep him in control.

No comment on the Issac Hayes Live in Reno double album.

Is it because I love my friends in Primus?

Because I care deeply for the fans?

Because I want to bring you the greatest show on earth?


Its because they are paying me in pure cocaine!! Pounds of the stuff! Id do anything for coke! Also, they are going to toss in a Issac Hayes Live in Reno double album, a perennial favorite of mine. (And they had better not try to pass off that baking soda crap on me like they did last New Years! Man that pissed me off!)

So you now have the unique opportunity to see me, LIVE over the internet in all my glory! It makes me shiver just thinking how grand Im going to be. Don't ever say that I don't love you okay? It's pretty rare that I shirk off my great talents on such losers like Primus! This is a once in a lifetime event! And yes the rumors are true, President Clinton will attend the show along with the Queen of England as well as a troop of well oiled choir boys, all as my personal guests! It saddens me to think this thing is going to be aired for FREE! Obviously there is a severe lapse of fiscal planing involved, but what do I care right? As long as I get my blow and my Issac Hayes record!

So there you have it, a night to remember! Me, Bob C Cock LIVE! Oh yeah those Primus guys might play also, but that is going to be overshadowed by the greatness that is Bob. Dont miss it kids!