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How to Talk to Teenagers about Teen Hookups and Sex

As a certified sex therapist, speaker and mom, I understand the anxieties around teen sexuality and the topic of hooking up. Most parents are worried. Does a teen have the maturity to walk through the emotional, psychological, and medical consequences of engaging in oral sex or intercourse? And whether it is bragging or shaming will also fluctuate.

Teen Hookups: Myths, Realities and What Parents Should Say

Biology accounts for teen sexuality. The biological basis is set, but the peer community establishes the norms. It is important to talk to your teen about sex and hookups.

Define hookup. Describe normal.

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While there are still exclusive couples, dating and sexuality have become far more casual. And, typically these encounters occur between two people who are not in an exclusive relationship, quite often with no strings attached. In some ways, it could be a good thing, in other ways, perhaps not.

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According to MSNBC, it could give a girl, for instance, the opportunity to be more sexually active as men traditionally have, without the fear of being judged by her peers. On the other hand, it might offer a girl who opts not to engage in sexual activity an opportunity to kiss a boy, It Starts Younger Thank You May Think The pervasive hookup culture that seems to be permeating the lives of our teens through TV, movies, videos and social media is contributing to the increase in younger kids hooking up.

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Further complicating matters, social networking and instant messaging have created a platform of ease making it all too simple for kids to chat openly and be far bolder than in past generations. Mobile devices are providing freedom for teenagers to test boundaries, meet people outside their peer groups and pursue a digital relationship without a parent peering over their shoulder.

Women who hook up a lot are called negative names like slut.

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This is part of a cultural sexual double standard, where by women are shamed for being sexually active while men are admired. Try not to stereotype. Not all men want to hook up all the time and some women really enjoy hooking up. Everyone is free to make their own choice. What are Friends with Benefits?